Saturday, January 1, 2011

2010 Reflections

2010 has been a very happy and devasting year for me. From lossing I gain back and thats friendship I am refering to. I reconciled with my old friends (Darren,Dillon,Gary,Suen,Munyee) whom I have quarrelled with when I was in Sec 4. Reconcile with them has never been thought of because our last quarrel was tough and fierce one! Everyone thought it was the end of our friendship but somehow things didn't turned out what it was predicted. Being back with them had brought me many joys and laughther in my life again. Throughout this year they had been with me,being there for me and we were just like before. I also believed that quarrels had brought our distance closer. Though Darren always say that " we don't understand each other that much" but my answer now is 'Who really understand themselves that much ?' even I don't understand myself at times how can I understand people who are not even me ? Misundserstanding in friendship does always happen here and there, it is how we handle it that makes the difference and at least after every misunderstandings we will forgive and forget. Our friendship is not as strong as what it may seems but I am sure everyone in the clique will strive their best to maintain this friendship.

In terms of relationship, I have gain and I have loss. We started dating in around march and we stead in around May and finally our relationship is put to a test which we both cannot make it through in December. Throughout this 9months, I can say I really did love you alot but in the end I ended this relationship. Why? It is not because I have stop loving you already but I don't have confidence in our relationship. There is these phrase I had before " Loving someone having that someone". If you learn how to love you must also learn how to un-love. As you know I will be leaving like in 4months time and I will be gone for like at least 6months. I don't want myself to suffer in feeling of missing you and not been there with you when you need me. Thus ending it early will stop me from having all this feelings and it will be better off for me. I know I am selfish but who is not ? Who doesn't wants the best for themselves ? I am afraid, I don't how life will be outside there. Fearing is enough already, I don't want to have missing feelings to add on to my agony. I can only say I am sorry. Though this relationship has ended but I just hope once in a while you will think of me. For now, I am upset , very upset. I have been crying whenever I think of the past and what I have done. But "a moment of pain is better than prolong pain!". & deep in my heart I know I still do love you. Everything has an ending and this is our ending.

~The end~


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