Reality is often cruel!

Is this what you really wanted aaronchan??

My answer to myself is,'I really dunno'... But i know somehow I
must come up with a decision to take or not.. Cus when the person
briefed for the course today I then realised what would I soon face..

Firstly, I would lose my family as I need to sail for almost the rest of
my life & so who will take care of my mum & dad or when they need
me?

Secondly, I would lose my freedom to go out anywhere,anytime I want!

Thirdly, I would lose my love life as I would have no wife nor children
at old age to spend with even though as calculated I would earn up to
15 millions USD...

My life would also been in danger as life at sea is not what you can
imagine of! Thats was what I was told! Imagine when the nights
falls, loneliness would soon struck you and the misery of not been
with your family would soon appoarch.. There is no internet non
any much activities for me to do..

Kok wanted to join is because he saw the big bucks he is going to earn
but who would not want? It is 650 USD to 1650 USD per day! and is
tax-free! 650USD is wad i earned in a month now! imagine you can
earn it in a day instead of a month! totally speechless! Not to blame
kok is greedy but which human on earth is not greedy?

But to be honest! I felt like crying when I think of the future whereby
i have to leave me mum and dad even though they are sick and ~touch
wood~ i might not even be able to be with them in their last journey..
It is a painful process.. Even though when i talked to mum about it
she seems okay with the course.. but truly i felt like a jerk when i told
her..

& now i kept asking myself this question! Why didn't you do better
for your o levels and attend your fucking cca even though you dun
like it and no one like you in that cca? IF i had put in longer hours
of studies and less hours of sleep and start earliar for my revision
i would not end up in this state whereby i am just 2 steps away from
what I always wanted! OR IF i had bite my teeth and just go for
the cca i might not end up in this state... I blame no one except myself!
I truly hate myself now..

Whoever whome know me well would know that i had a inspiration to
be a pilot but now i am ending up in a course where i would be seperated
from my friends but in a course where i am not able to study in major
of what i wanted.. I dunwan to be alone,I dunwan to spent my poly days
mugging alone, I dunwan to be in Electronis and Electrical Enginerring
when I am 3 points above the course and 2 points below the course
I wanted..

None of you would understand how i feel now! NONE! In many eyes
i might have done extremely well as i am a EM3 student but in my
eyes i had not done well.. I know that are many ppl out there who are
also like me now whom cant get into a course they desired.. And many
would say like ' wah at least you can get 16 points ' but to me what is
16 points? where can it bring me to? Triple Es?

The world is usually unfair..If there is fairness in this world then people
in Hati should not suffer this kind of disater as they are already a
very poor country..

It is too late to grumble now! What is done has been done and it cannot
be undone.. Thus!

I am now to make a decision whether to bet or not bet..

If i win this bet, I would be back on the track I want to be

BUT

If i lose this bet , I lose everything include Faimily,Friends & Love..

And today I found the 3rd most pathetic things under my defination
of pathetic people. ~not in any order~

1) Do not have a dream of what they wanted in their future life.
2)Not only love to cheat other people but also love to cheat themselves!
3)Unable to do the things you truly want in your future life.

And now I fall in this 3 pathetic definations i had..

By the way it is painful to be seperated..very painful! & whenever it
gets too painful I would just sleep! I really hope i can sleep forever!

I had to make a decision somehow..
But who would truly understand my real feelings now?
It is a Hard choice to make and the stakes are too high to be paid..

What a DAY!

Just finished chatting with kok kiang on the phone cus
he seems to sad about the bill stuffs..

Okay today is quite a moody day for me..I intially have
an appointment but because of something it was cancelled!
& so that had driven me in a deeper sorrow + sian thus I
suddenly saw a UOB bank which was packed and I went
to that bank and make an account & apply a debit card
which acutally i should wait for Elvin and Pq to do it tgt
but since i got SOOOO much time hence i decided to waste
it... in the end i spend like 2 hours waiting in the bank with
no breakfast nor lunch nor a sip of water still i woke up!

After the thing was settled I just took a random bus &
suddenly i feel like buying shoe so i bus to bugis and walk
to the place where Yiyuan had brought me the last for
autheuthic wholesale price shoe..but in the end i got lost =.=..
which i had been waiting for! haha =x .. At last i bought
2 shoes instead of one ! i am quite stupid , i know that!
so instead spending $150 ++ in the shops at the shopping
malls i spend $120 to buy 2 new shoes!..

Then after that i bused to meet Elvin and Dillon for lan &
dinner together! and my days just end like tat!

Anyway my god damn feet is so painful! i guess i not not
used to the new shoes!

Off to bed ! meeting dillon,elvin & peeps tmr for shopping!

FYI, You hurt me once again but this time i am numb though
i was quite affected in the early part of the day!

WOHOO!

Secert steamboat dinner + outing with my RCL dept peeps!
'secert' is because we didn't want 'someone' to tag along hence
it is so secertive and FUN!..

Was quite scare to go out with them actaully cus is my first time
going with them & i shy de u know =x .. HAHA! We left office at
0620 and trained down to Bugis to meet Jasmine .. had steamboat
at the resturant where elvin & I used to go! we sat outside due to
some specific reasons =.=..we crap & eat and i just cannot stop
laughing as my colleagues are all too funny in what they say!..
After that we went to TCC to slacked & chat & cam whore!..haha
talk about lots of jokes and 'someone'.. I must admit that I had
a great time with them today & i look forward for more of such
outings!

Wondering how my dept ppls looks?
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The above pic is not the whole dept! is only ppl that are likeable
and nice! But they are all the pros in my dept!

MORE PICS COMING UP!@#$%^&*()_

I will not be look down by the world again!

Guess what? Mdm Hana from my secondary school called me
to 'interview' me cause they have decided to sent my 'story' of
how an EM3 student who was onced looked down by the society
and the world has passed his 'o' levels with 2 As , 3 Bs & 1 Cs
despite of being an EM3 student who made it into N(A) stream..
They would most pobably published my story as an inspiratioanl
story during the MOE Excel Fair 2010 which would be held in
March to motivate students are like me, once a failure in life
to study hard and they would make it thru one day too! I am so
happy now ! never thought of anything like this before! MOE might
publish into a book and sell ,from what mdm hana said..which i
think it is going to be a compile stories book..

Suddenly I felt so honoured and happy as all my days of going to
the library and chiong for my 'o' levels had paid off well! Indeed i
had made the right decision this time & i had fullfill one of my
grandmother's last wishes that she had for me..

OKOK i have not been blogging since a long long time =x
Many have been asking me how i did for my 'o' levels..
All i can say is that i did fairly well as compared to many others
whom have done much better than me.. But the moment I
who never forget is when i got a special mention during the briefing
of the overall 'o' level results.. you may ask why me?

My Background

I was a EM3 student when I was in Primary school however during
the PSLE i did very well and was promoted back to the N(A) stream
when i was in Secondary school. And today I passed my o levels of
16 points wit my PSLE t-score of 116.


Though in many eyes I did well but in my own world that was not
wad i had been longing for..I wanted a 14 points instead of a 16pts..
But i kept telling myself that i should be contented and stop grumbling..
The reason i kept complaining was that i am afraid i can get into the
course of my DREAM COURSE which i wanted since 11?

As for today, I went the West Coast there to do my round 2 of eye
checkup cus i failed the round 1 at sp and i need to pass in order
to enter the DAE course (Nautical Studies)..well i passed my 2nd
one cus the equiment and docs are PROFESSIONALS unlike the
one at SP where i was asked to stand a certain position and read
a stupid old chart=.= .. After that i bused to mel's house to meet
him and qiqi & so we went to Orchard to shopppppp and i bought
a skinny Jeans from a Japanese shop at Ion.. then went to eat Dim
sum and bused home..

I am super tired now!

Junhuat emailed my this which i felt is pretty true about my personality ;

ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge... EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Every single part has hit the bull's eye as it all describes pefectly about
my horrible personalities..

Okay thats all for today.. Tata off the slp !

Reality is usually very Cruel !

Had a reality check today! Went to 2 different polys to visit their Open House!
Guess how many ppl went?? 1,2...5...7? no is 8! ~i know i am trying to be lame!~

Our first stop is , SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC , Had many helpful infos from
SP and got more interested in Marinetime Engineering instead of just Areospace
Engineering! & to be glad, Gary has similar interest to mine, so we sticked tgt
throughout the whole day and enquired stuffs.. Also tried out Archery at one of
the booth, woooo i kinda love it man cus is soooo cool! ~and blah blah blah~ until
KOK did a thing that is very embarrassing , it happen while he was trying out
the flight simulator and the whole simulator starts to trobble like hell & everyone
in the room was giggling at him! & walked ard & off we went to our next destination.

Second stop, Ngee Ann Polytechenic , Bused there and went to the Convention
center immediately! but in the end all MIA and we were splitted into 2 groups
to explore the Poly.. Nothing much at Ngee Ann, except KOK took some shoots
at the studio and appear on 'teenage'.. & all i can say is that the weather is HOT
& my leg hurts alot!..

Third Stop, Fish & Co. at Douby gouht.. Shared a Seafood platter with gary and
it would super delicious with wide spread of Seafoods and was super filling & all
thanks to those who helped to eat cus i think neither me or gary would have
finished without them..LOL! ~elvin i praising u hor! =x ~ 2 words to descirbe,
'Hearty Meal' .. When the meal ended,it was time for our Ms Chong Suen had to
leave for her family dinner at her granny's place so we pei her to the MRT
station and head off to LAN!..haha..

Therefore to summarise the whole day it was Tiring yet FUN!

& it is ard 36 more hours to the RESULTS!.. if you ask me whether I want the
results or not? I would asked NO&YES! Cus I am a humji guy who rather run
away from the painful sitution then getting hurt by it! But if i dun get back the
results, I would live in fear every SINGLE MOMENT! so it is like to be it or
not to be it!

Delima about the sitution! Understanding is what I need now!

A new chapter in my life!

Had half day for work yesterday! then meet dillon,darren ,elvin
and ppl for lan then go meet suen to have simple dinner with her
as it was her birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUEN! but in the end
we played until way too late so we didnt go in the end..felt quite bad!
sorry suen! Then we went to Asian kitchen to eat which i initally thought
we can order and share but in the end he table is too long as there is 7
of us so we split to eat..thats not wad i wanted sia! nevertheless i still
enjoy eating at Asian Kitchen! Home after that as my dad dun allow
me to go for the over night lan! hurrrr!


My 2009 resolutions,
Never had thought the days of my secondary school life is ending..It is a
regret i swear! Like wad ppl had once told me before,'you would have the
best of your life in ur secondary school days!' Indeed i had made best firends
then enemies and now back to square one again! haha.. God indeed was kind
to me,for giving me back friends that i had loss due to my petty-ness and I
am really glad that everyone can reaccept me as a friend and treated me really
well!I had never thought we can be friends again after the last quarrel we had
but fate had proven me wrong and i am really thankful and grateful to everyone!
I had also made new besties like PQ and KOK,whom we went to chiong
for our O levels together day and night at the library, sharing knowledge that
whoever is good in! eating the nua nua char siew rice,got sqeeuze while getting
into the study until we had broke the fucking door of the study lougnue & seeing
u 2 chionging for SS was the greatest pleasure I seen..I would nver forget the
days we had spent together! And in my greatest time where i needed help the
most a gang of girls came to my aid and gave me a space in their gang! and i
have found another good friend there who i can talk to on phone to share
my woes..i really appeaciate the time and ur ear! Life has been great and
fruitful to me even thoguh i had so much problems...my only hope now is to
get back my O level result and face reality!

Life to me now really felt like reverse in time,reverse into a time where i
had the most happiness in my life with all my friends! Seariously there is
nothing more i could ask for as i already had wad i had desired the most!
And now,WE ARE in a new chapter of our life!

I had forgiven u long ago and i had already
forgetten the stuffs that had happened =)